Camera Crazy

Been watching New Zealand's next top model? I have *cringe*. And I happily sit in my armchair telling the contestants to move their face or pose better or generally not to look like Bambi when his mother got shot.

I hate photos. Well, I hate taking photos of myself, or looking at photos of myself.
All of a sudden my lips don't know what to do, my eyes dart furtively and by the time the camera snaps I end up looking like a starving owl that has just spotted it's prey limping hopelessly at its feet.

End effect: a smarmy and confusing "here's my dinner I must kill it my precious" expression.

It is a must that I take photos of my products, I enjoy the posing and capturing - and editing and posting them. I then sit back and wait like a Supervillain in his throne for the world to fall at my feet and supplicate to my awesomeness at creating such a wonder.*
However, I have just branched out my creative genius into a new venture called The Forest FlawDrobe.
So exciting, so fun, so great, so far. 
But I must take photos of this product. I must take photos of this product being used. I must take photos of how cool, vintage, fun, sexy and quirky these products are. 
I must convey the feeling that I have just swaggered off a B52 after swilling Martinis, entertaining the flight crew with my worldly tales whilst remaining collected and sexy ala Jessica Rabbit. 
So begins photo shoot.

End effect: a confronting and blurry "I just fell out the door of a helicopter after drinking too many apricot schnapps, whilst entertaining the flight crew by having my skirt tucked into my underwear the entire flight.

And so ends my photo career. Crop. Edit. Crop again. Fed up, I post the photos. Then sit back like a Supervillain and and wait for the world to not look at my product but buy it regardless because it is awesome.
This is just the beginning of The Forest FlawDrobe, so I must improve. I will watch the Supermodels and copy what they do. I will practice Jessica Rabbit and make sure my skirt is not tucked into my undies. I WILL master my lips and eyes.
If not, at least it will be entertaining to watch, so keep an eye out.

*This rarely* ever happens.

*Never.

I see dinner, must kill

Oh, I've had my skirt tucked in where?

I salute you supermodels. Your life is tough.

Vintage Garrison Cap