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Sunday, 20 November 2011

Free to good home

Not many things in life are free. And certainly not the things that are on my xmas list.

But recently I have found that getting the free things can come at a cost - if you can swing them at all. In fact, they can be the HARDEST thing to get at sometimes.

Let me take you on a tour *cue squiggly lines and theruman music*
It all started a couple of weeks ago...

Starting a business requires a few things.
First: a product.
Second: all the other horrible admin crap that takes up every waking moment of your life until you can no longer look at your computer screen without wanting to rip your (or someone else's) eyeballs out.
Third: patience.

Example 1; 
Product: I filled an order for a beautiful shop Milt and Joe in my home town.
Admin: I began the process of registering my business name so I could get an ABN and invoice for goods. This is the admin part that makes you deal with the tax department and state government and requires you learn some ridiculous jargon and acronyms that have no bearing on what you need to do at all. It also jammed up for an entire day and almost made husband never want to talk to me again. Perhaps that was my fault - but I am blaming the government.
Patience: I had to wait two days before someone could get back to me and sort the whole thing out.

So you see the things that should be easy are not. Other free things I would like but find increasingly hard to swing are:
*   An entire day at home without having to sew
*   To eat a packet of salt and vinegar chips, or fish and chips, or any potato cooked in oil product without feeling the need to walk the circumference of the earth afterwards to burn it off
*   Good hair day on a day where it counts
*   Patience
*   Ability to see into the future
*   A magic elf to do all the work for me as I sleep
See, not too much to ask, but incredibly hard to get.

This entire process was compounded by another free conundrum:
Example 2:
Product: Free Golden retriever to good home
Admin: Rang husband. Tried nonchalant behaviour, begging, pleading, pouting, appealing to his squishy side and listing attributes of a dog I had never met, including it's penchant for wanting endless cuddles and it's ability to obey his every command. Answer no. Outcome - never allowed to read livestock section of paper again.
Patience: Bide my time...yes...bide my time...*maniacal hand rubbing*

So free does not necessarily mean easy. Free to me now just means a lot of effort. Free makes my hair stand on end and question what the catch is. Free means "not costing money - but perhaps a crap load of time, patience, begging, crying in frustration and eventually throwing a tantrum".

This is what I have learned. So take heed reader next time you see "free to good home", check what it will cost you first!

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